“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything your land produces” Proverbs 3:9
With the holidays past us and a new year upon us, it is crunch time again for our household finances. Savvy marketers know how the consumer behaves during the holiday season. As a result of these tempting sales such as buy two and get one free to save $5 when really you are spending $10 more than originally intended, these sellers convinced you to part ways with your dollars for this must-have product/service. Past activity at the mall and/or AAFES is now appearing on the credit card bills. Those little unforeseen extras from the holidays such as travel expenses or last minute gifts are a part of mounting expenses. Just when you feel like you can slow up and ease into the New Year full of promise, New Year resolutions and a clean slate for 2011, it’s a realization that past spending behavior is directing you differently than desired. There are bills to pay, and the total amount is higher than you anticipated. Panic can set in, and financial pressure is trying for a marriage especially for military marriages that endure enough stress as it is. Is this how our Lord wants us to honor Him as a result of this holiday season?
Have you and your spouse honored God with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce? This question offers a rhetorical reply of yes! Yet, the credit card bill can bring reality to your homefront. In fact, more than 55% of divorced couples cited money problems as the primary reason that they had marital problems (Citibank survey). Mismanaging your finances reflects directly on your marriage and ultimately your relationship with God. What is yours, mine and ours represents this family unit. Even if the head of household is in a combat zone, we wives are to manage well our household affairs and wealth.
Most women defer money matters to their spouse. Most wives do the bulk of household buying. With more women working in the workforce and earning income, there is more emphasis on the part of marketers to target women because of the increase in buying power. As time constraints hinder couples from having effective budget meetings to see what’s going on with the household finances, women can be intimidated by the topic. Sometimes the wife feels lost as to how to manage the household. Fear can set in along with anxiety.
This sentiment is not what God intended for us and our marriage. Fear is the opposite of what God desires for us. Our finances may cause anxiety, and this is the critical time when we are to seek God.
During one deployment, my husband was overseas for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. I managed our household finances and would correspond with him via e-mail about them. He wanted to be involved and yet did not want to worry about the details. These e-mails ended up stressing him out because we were discussing our household finances, and he had to keep his head in the game. So, I stopped these e-mails and instead worked hard to make him proud. I paid the bills. I watched the spending. I tithed. I saved. I did the grocery shopping. I worked the budget. I gave my best when it came to managing our finances.
Prior to his departure, we developed our financial game plan so that I would confidently manage the day to day knowing what our goals were. Eventually, we learned how to coordinate our efforts. This took a lot of pressure off of him while humbling him to depend on me. I felt engaged and more of an active participant in the deployment process. It made me get closer to him and strengthened our marriage even though we were miles apart. We would pray about our finances in addition to other prayers. As a result of our efforts and upon his return home, we agreed to celebrate by making a donation to The Salvation Army. It felt so good to give our best.
What is the best part of everything you produce? Take it and honor God with it.
Regardless of your financial situation, today is a good time to talk and pray with your spouse about your finances. Even if there’s credit card debt or other financial hardship, I can promise you that if you both give your best and honor God with your wealth, you will see a direct benefit to your marriage that you’ve never experienced before. It is an amazing blessing to you and your marriage.
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Should you need more financial resources, there are many that I have listed below. While this is not an endorsement of their products and services, I offer these resources as a way for you and your spouse to consider options that best fit your needs. In my opinion, there are limited financial resources available to the Christian military marriage/family.
- The one that I believe is best for many is the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University link Introduction to Dave Ramsey Military Edition as well as the Dave Ramsey Military Resource Center for Military Families that is offered through various bases or FRG programs.
- Military OneSource Financial Services offers financial consultation via phone.
- DoD Article on How To Confront Financial Issues Early is a good read for both the military member and spouse to understand why it is important to manage your finances soundly.
- USAA is another pro-military financial resource company to consider as they are not just an insurance company but also offer banking, financial counseling and other financial services.
- Military Money offers an interesting online resource of information for military families.
- A few books to consider are Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, Money and Marriage God’s Way by Howard Dayton, Family Money Management God’s Way by Mahlon Hetrick, The Household Money Organizer, and A Woman’s Guide to Family Finances by Ellie Kay.
- Your local library or bookstore offers simple financial educational resources.
- The best resource for further financial understanding is you educating yourself. That means spending your time calling, asking questions, doing calculations, and even attending classes or information sessions.
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