Stop Spoiling & Start Saving

Our American culture influences us parents to indulge our children and provide means to them that our grandparents dreamed of achieving one day.  The challenge is to balance access to means and excess.  If we parents deny our precious children an object of desire, then we feel guilty, drive ourselves into debt over getting the stuff and deplete our energy in ways that can harm us and our children later.  Perhaps this is an extreme description for your case....perhaps not.  I have children, and if I can give them everything, I would.  However, is that helping them to learn good values and become good citizens in our country?

As I go through my cluttered home full of toys, clothes and other misc, I remind myself that it is stuff, and it is time to get rid of certain unused items (as much as it breaks my heart to see them go).  It is emotional detachment preventing me from getting rid of the stuff. 

According to an online professional organizer (source unknown), 85% of items in your house are unnecessary.  For those challenged with hoarding, that is staggering, and if you've watched some of the HGTV's organizing shows, you will be amazed at how far people go.  I've even seen a farmer collect over 16,000 coffee mugs.  They are all over the house, barn, and other places.  What on earth are they going to do with them? Where will this stuff end up that you are paying the credit card for?  Landfills are overflowing, and even with the Go Green campaign, it's a wonder we determine how to deal with the stuff. 

Welcome professional organizers and 1800Junk or College Hunks Haul Junk!  More ways to spend your precious money on getting rid of the stuff that you bought with your hard-earned money.  While there are certain items necessary to have, it is more cost-effective to declutter and live with less. 

On Forefront Families LLC web site page, there is a commentary on Excess & Indulgence when it comes to our children.  I like how these people simply put it so please click on the link.  Indulgence occurs from providing too much stuff, a lack of discipline and low expectations.  If parents were to spend time rather than money on a child, it will last a lifetime AND not cost much in monetary value.  Children need time with their parents, and in this modern era of cell phones, texting, video games, e-mail etc..., the battle for your time is a big motivator to act out, be it good or bad.  Usually the bad behavior gets your attention. 

If good behavior is rewarded, then how much better will our children behave the way we hope?  Less costly in the long run....yes, certain behaviors can be addressed and changed so that later down the road, you won't be paying legal court costs or fines or fee penalties for your child's lack of responsibilty. 

No is a difficult word to say to a precious toddler, a tween or a teenager when they ask for something.  I often tell my children that we have not budgeted that item and that we will have to save up our money and purchase it.  By presenting a realistic answer, they understand an important reality of life regarding financial spending for a household.  Everyone must live within their means regardless of a big or small paycheck.

A nice benefit to stop spoiling your child is to start saving.  If you follow the 10/10/80 approach with your spending plan, you will see positive benefits overall.  Tithing 10% of your income is wise.  Saving 10% of your income is important for future rainy days.  Preplanning how you intend to spend 80% of your income is key to successfully being a good steward of your home.  When children experience this living environment, it can't help but be rubbed off on them, and then as adults with their own families, they will become responsible US citizens and live within their means (not live in your home or depend on you to support themselves). 

With the US savings rate at a low, it is good to remind future generations about what our grandparents experienced during the Depression.  Both of my grandmothers constantly reminded me of their life experience and why it is important to save for a rainy day.  They imparted wisdom that lasted a lifetime with their grandchild and ultimately their great grandchildren. 

If you give of yourself for the good of others, then you are well ahead of the pack when it comes to stop spoiling and start saving. 

To take it a step further, our faith has become Americanized.  Having worked in market research, it's amazing how corporations mastermind ways to sell a product or service.  Even daily postal mail is 75% direct marketing with flyers, coupons, and ads.  We are bombarded daily with "buy this because you cannot live without it."    Parents are challenged to raise children in this age of influence. 

One author, Frances Chan, presents some good food for thought in his book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. 

Dr. James Dobson founded Focus on the Family and is a renowned author regarding children and families publishing such books as The Strong Willed Child, Bringing up Girls and Bringing up Boys. 

Jodie Berndt authored Praying the Scriptures for your Children, and I think it helps to pray for children's faith, character, safety, relationships and future (including financially supporting oneself).   Prayer power has no monetary value, yet it is a beautiful blessing bestowed upon a child. 

These authors are just a few of many who are committed to present material relevant to parents, especially those parents who desire a different path for their children than what is being promoted or taught.  

Welcome to the journey with other fellow American parents who strive to raise children with good morales and values.  I hope that this topic of stop spoiling and start saving will jolt something into your family that will be a blessing in the future.

(c) 2011  Stephanie Arredondo