Student Loan Costs Are Life-Changing

Would you consider paying $211,000 for an original student loan cost of $74,000?  Of course not.  Unfortunately, when students take on student loan debt and assume that if they work hard to pay it off, then life will be good.  Today's reality offers a different financial perspective here. 

In this article, Student Loan Debt, it is evident that marriage and starting a family is long delayed because of this debt.  Sometimes career advancement is delayed as well.  This article (at the bottom) even highlights a great list of how debt negatively affects students such as difficulty in renting a home because of a high debt to income ratio number. 

The military member is keen on money for education.  Sometimes the GI Bill or other education benefits seem too good to be true.  The reality is some funds are low, and the cost to cover education tuition and fees is not paying as much as aniticipated.  Military are having to take on loans in order to pay for education.  The financial hardship is not recommended.

Many folks offer a solution of working hard and paying as you go.  The increasing popularity of evening college classes is back in addition to online courses.  Hence, you can work a full-time job and obtain your education so some of the financial hardship is avoided.

Interest on the debt is challenging especially when it kicks in.

You cannot claim student loan debt in bankruptcy.  You must pay it off. 

The financial hardship is to mount if students take on more debt.  Recommendation is to delay graduation by working and earning funds to pay for college.  If you are already in debt, then working a full-time job and another part-time job or two will be life for awhile.  It is an enslavement that many wished they never had agreed to doing.  Perhaps view this time in life as an opportunity for character building.  It is during times of financial hardship that you learn things in ways you least expect. 

Happy Military Couples

Ever wonder what are some secrets to keep love going in your marriage?  I love this article recently posted The 9 Secrets of Happy Couples.  Now if only I can get my military spouse to help out with household chores, then I think that this is a great list.  All joking aside, military couples can benefit from these secrets.

Praying together as a couple especially before you begin your day is a great way to connect with your spouse.  If he is on deployment or there is a distance factor, try skyping or pick a particular time of the day where you both know that the other is praying for you and vice versa.

Doing household chores helps your love life.  Upon return from a long deployment, the military spouse needs to make a contribution to doing dishes, cooking a meal, taking the trash out, treating the other to something and even helping out with laundry.  By doing these domestic duties, you are able to reduce the amount of time it takes to do these chores and increase your time together.

Sometimes just sitting and being near one another is a great way to reconnect.  Communication is soooo important.  Allowing time to catch up and listening to the other is key.

There are other items to keep in mind but for now, happy military couples is something that many desire because as many Americans agree, the sacrifices that you and the military families make is a big deal to many U.S. citizens.  Happiness is priceless whereas fun is where you pay a price.....choosing happiness for your marriage is a financial decision in the long run!

(c) 2012  Copryrighted by Stephanie Arredondo

Mutual Submission

Submit to my husband, are you nuts? This sentiment is typical in our modern day society as it mocks submission. If you google the word submission on the Internet, there are some pretty graphic and taboo images to negatively impact your impression of what it means to submit. Yet, as hard as it is to submit to our husbands, we must. The Bible is very clear on this: just read Ephesians 5:21-33, 1 Peter 3:1-6, and Proverbs 31:10-31.

Am I showing signs of weakness when I submit? No Ma’am.

Where do I fit in the modern day era as a military wife of faith? God loves you and encourages you to love your spouse. By submitting to one another, we enhance the life of our spouse – and ultimately our own.

When the head of the household returns home from a long deployment, it’s tricky to submit. Both of you have had life experiences that foster growth apart. When you reunite and realize that submission is not mutual, it challenges the marriage. (It’s also tricky to submit when the head of household displays poor leadership and/or sexual immorality as in Ephesians 5:3….in this case, I advise you to seek out guidance immediately).

For example, he just returned from a year long deployment in a combat zone and realizes you overspent in the babysitter area of your budget, money that you don’t have. Either he accepts this decision because of good communication between you both, or he argues, thus rejecting your decision at that time, not having much empathy and not working out a solution to the problem.

To submit means respect and how you love your spouse; your communication is paramount to your successful relationship. You are enhancing your spouse’s life. You are providing the enrichment necessary to ward off Satan’s desire to destroy the reflection of God that is in us.

To not submit means you and your spouse not only lack good communication but do not love one another as Christ loves you. When we don’t submit to one another, we ultimately are not showing our reverence for Christ. Instead, Satan is at work destroying marriage by influencing you and/or your spouse.

Mutual submission is the only workable path to marriage, and love provides the true motive for submission. My husband and I love each other very much and married when we were in our early 30s. When we married, he commented that my strong personality is one reason why he chose me to be his bride because he knew it would help us get through these deployments and times of separation. He has a strong personality trait, and when it comes to being head of household, he has displayed some good choices and some not-so-good choices. We are challenged in the mutual submission department because of issues that have surfaced after one particular deployment. I am reminded of 1 Peter 3:1 and how I am to submit to my husband. It’s so hard because I have always been taught that I can do anything. I used to be independent. I made my own money. I made my own decisions. I did what I wanted when I wanted. I functioned without him especially during these deployments. Why must I submit? Why can’t he submit? (He’s probably thinking the same thing…Why won’t she submit? Why do I have to submit to her?) This is a challenge for us wives of faith.

Mutual submission allows us to get closer to Christ because marriage belongs to God and to the church. When we practice mutual submission, we get closer to the One who loves us best. God has a plan for you, your husband and your marriage. The church is the body of God and epitomizes your desire for a successful marriage. If you are not in a good church home, I strongly encourage you to seek out a church. Marriages are under attack daily, and just because your husband is home from the battlefield does not mean that you can let your guard down. Submitting to one another out of love is the best way to combat these potential wounds. Praying together and/or for one another is a powerful weapon. In Acts 18:24-26, we learn of a couple who functioned as a team and welcomed a learned man into their home to learn more. The military is aware of challenges that marriages weather through these storms of deployments and offers marriage retreats that are chaplain-led. For example, one mentioned at our unit was www.strongbonds.org. If you and your spouse can attend such a retreat, it will be a blessing you and your marriage (plus your children will benefit from you both strengthening your marriage). Whatever the case may be, it is important to seek the best for your spouse, love him and submit so that you may get closer to the One who loves you best.

To talk more about this topic, I recommend it, especially with your local Wives of Faith chapter, the new community message board or just post a comment below. It is this support, encouragement and connection that will enable us military spouses to see God’s will when it comes to submission and our marriages.

Wives of Faith for copy of this article published

Unguarded Strength is Double Weakness

This article was published on Wives of Faith web page. 

Our local connoisseur of fabulous cheap finds, Mary Hance (also known as Ms. Cheap to all you Tennessean readers) has published a book, Love For a Lifetime: Daily Wisdom and Wit for a Happy Marriage. One of her reader favorites is how to start your marriage: After you say I Do, you move 2,000 miles away from your family and start your life together. That way you don’t have the excuse to run from your marriage when life comes at you. Both of you learn quick and early on to depend on one another, and that is the best way to start your marriage. This is a befitting description for us military wives who dive into marriage in a similar fashion. Call it “love makes you blind,” but I like to think of it as the lifelong adventure I was born to experience.

We military wives say I Do in many ways either on a whim in the county courthouse, in a local church, on the beach, or even over the Internet (yes, there was a military wedding where he was in a combat zone and she was in her hometown). Each marriage is unique as it starts off. My husband and I wanted the church and reception type of I Do so that it included our family and friends. Recently, upon watching our wedding video with our children, my husband and I reminisced about the early days of our marriage, and how eight years later, our marriage has flourished, has endured the seven year itch and has been tested with deployments, children and other matters that you least expect when you say I Do.

The tests of marriage will always occur. It’s true that you cannot run home to your parent’s house or a friend’s house to seek support especially living 2,000 miles away from your hometown. God can only provide the strength you seek in these moments of weakness. Philippians 4:13 says it best with “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.”

Unfortunately, some tests of our marriage come in hurtful ways and at our weakest moments.

• Mismanagement of your finances has placed undue pressure on your marriage.
• Someone else got the promotion your husband hoped to get, and as a result, he turned to alcohol.
• A female officer falsely accuses your spouse of sexual assault, and he loses rank.
• Your husband is on deployment when miscarriage occurs.
• Online pornography intrigues your husband.
• Going out to local bars seems like innocent fun until the next morning.
• Your next PCS move is unexpected and separates you both for a year.
• Your anger and frustration mount as you maintain the home front, and when home, he does little to no household chores.

There are many other ways that the enemy attacks your marriage besides these bulleted points, but our weakest moments can be the turning point needed to build character the way God intended in our marriages.

Ephesians 6: 10-18 encourages us to protect ourselves against spiritual attack. When it comes to our marriage, the oneness is challenged by the long distance separation of deployments, the pressures of parenting, the care for aging parents, a demanding job, and/or the mismanagement of time invested in your marriage. No wonder military marriages are challenged. When we are our weakest is exactly when we must summon our strength, yet when we let our guard down is when the enemy makes the most of this opportunity. Unguarded strength is a double weakness.

How do you combat these spiritual attacks?

1. Prayer is a powerful weapon.
2. Attending a Wives of Faith group meeting is another wonderful way to support, encourage and reach out to one another.
3. Should you need to talk on a personal level, it is important to discern and find a Christian advocate to help you see God in the picture.
4. Believe that this character building time will produce amazing fruit of the spirit in you and your marriage.
5. Have faith.

The enemy works through people and things and presents timewasters to distract us. Often, the enemy starts with our minds, and a low self-esteem is indicative of poor time management (especially true if you are seeking a job/calling as referenced in Dan Miller’s 48 Days to the Work You Love). We spend a lot of time thinking and trying to change our spouse when we should change ourselves first. We forget about our role as wife, and we find frustration in our husbands who lack initiative in stepping up to their role as head of household. In Ephesians 5: 15-16, we are warned to live purposely.

Are you making the most of your time?

Where you invest your time is telling of your priorities in life. It’s comforting to know that you do have a plan. Marriage is a lifelong plan of commitment to this one special person God sent into your life. Over Valentine’s Day weekend in our Sunday School class, we went around the room and told the story of how we met. Granted, it was a good load of laughs, and you could see each couple’s spark about how they met either while in school, through mutual friends, at a social event or even online (rare but becoming more common with military marriages). One grandmother even played matchmaker to one couple who now have five children. The marriages ranged from 1 year to 16 years. Each marriage started off the same way – saying I Do.

While I Do represents the beginning, the journey has a telling story depending on your daily decisions, purposeful living and management of self. If you make the most of opportunities through wise time management and the sword of the Spirit, there won’t be double weakness but an amazingly unbreakable bond of strength that will enhance your marriage until death do you part.

Survivor Spouse

This article was posted on Wives of Faith web page.

United Warrior Survivor Foundation (UWSF) Provides
Surviving Spouses With Support & More

By Stephanie Arredondo, Board Treasurer

As we as a nation celebrate Memorial Day weekend, I am reminded of those silently celebrating our heroes. There are our fellow sisters in Christ whose best friend has made the ultimate sacrifice. We Wives of Faith know that this is part of the deal when our husbands committed to the military. It is our duty to stand by his side and to love, support and encourage him as he does his job.

Yet who is there when he comes home the way we least expect? United Warrior Survivor Foundation (UWSF) is the only non-profit organization dedicated to serving the needs of surviving spouses of Navy, Army, Air Force and Marine Corps Special Operations killed in the line of duty since September 11, 2001. What makes this group unique is that they invite surviving spouses and their children to their 4-day conferences and pay for all the expenses. The goal is to provide peer to peer mentorship, survivor transition assistance and bereavement counseling. USWF always includes surviving families in daily prayer. It is a wonderful opportunity for surviving spouses and their families to adjust to a new chapter in their lives and get the support that they need.
If your spouse was not in Special Operations yet you are a surviving spouse, then there are other means of support through Military. Com, chaplains and others.

While I cannot imagine this new chapter in your life, I do know that God will give you the strength that you need. If you think “Oh You Don’t Know What I Go Through,” I do. Back in college, my college sweetheart was in a boating accident and did not make it. Granted, we were not married, but it was in the works. Losing him changed my whole world. I grieved and cried. I got angry because life did not seem fair. I could not believe that God could let this happen, and I was mad at God for a long time. Psalm 23 helped me some, but it was reading Acts 2:25-28, Romans 5:3-5, I Corinthians 13 , and Colossians 3:8-11 that time allowed me to heal. Prayer allowed me to seek God, forgive Him and renew a relationship with Him. Journaling eased my pain of anger and depression, and I always had to write it in a letter style of Dear God, Today… and sign it Love, Me. It took a long time for the pain to subside. Time has a way of healing. I eventually got back into life. Some things worked out. Some things did not and that pain was tough at first. Then, I dated and met my best friend for life, my current husband. I never dreamed that I could find love again. I had to let go in order to be whole and move on with my life as new chapters emerged whether I wanted to or not. God was there the whole way. If I went down a road that was not good, God was there to guide me.

Today is a new day, and I am grateful for the Present. God gives you strength in ways you least expect if only you will seek Him. If you seek prayer, support or encouragement for this dark period in your life, please contact me or other military spouses so that we may pray for you and your family as you walk this new chapter in your life. I pray that you will seek the support of your military chaplain and others. You are not alone. While we never want to see a military spouse welcome her husband home this way, we are bonded in a way that few understand.

Stephanie Arredondo is Board Treasurer for Wives of Faith and writes a blog – Alfa Sugar – that lends financial perspective in modern America from one military spouse.

Tune Out Financial Stress and Tune into God

This article is available on Wives of Faith web site page.

Psalm 50:15 “Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”

Given the recent hype in the news about a government shutdown, it’s lending to financial stress upon military families, especially for those with deployed loved ones. Politicians are making news with their ideas and comments. The Department of Defense is cautious. Critics of the federal government and the military are surfacing with more harsh words. Cutbacks in the military could occur at a time that the U.S. economy is in the early stage of a recovery. Consumer sentiment is cautious as oil and food prices rise based on inflationary influences. Perhaps the home situation is challenged with loved ones searching for employment. Stress is high for many these days, and yet is it a reminder to tune out this static and tune in to the One who delivers us without fail?

God has a unique way of capturing our attention. While the politicians and others determine what’s to occur with government issues that are beyond our control, it is important for military families, especially military wives, to pray and focus on what God needs us to focus on.

Mahlon Hetrick of Christian Financial Counseling wrote the book, Family Money Management God’s Way, and he addresses how most people do not know how to find abundance in their budgets and are not listening to what God has to say. (Hetrick, 19) Perhaps the politicians would benefit from this wisdom as well, but the fact remains that if you are not tuning in to God, then you are neglecting an opportunity to honor Him.

For short term military money matters, it is good to consider the following:

1. Pray and pray incessantly for our country and its financial challenge (Our National Debt isn’t sustainable, and we need for all to address it and address it soon.) Proverbs 3:5-6
2. Review your finances for the next month and develop a new spending plan (If this is a challenge or you need more advice, please see article.) I Corinthians 14:40
3. Cut unnecessary costs such as having your nails done, eating out, going to the movies, going to Starbucks, buying that pair of shoes, etc.. and get creative with certain cost-cutting measures Proverbs 16:3
4. If in debt and if you are making monthly payments that you believe you cannot make, it is wise to contact the business now, state your situation and ask if there’s another payment option. Many will cooperate if you initiate the phone call. For example, my husband and I worked out a payment plan for a medical bill from our son’s surgery (and no added interest expense). Psalm 1:1
5. For those whose financial situation is overwhelming and especially if you have a deployed military member, it is wise to seek your church home, pastor or military chaplain. By discussing your situation, certain churches will determine ways to provide love and support so as to ease the financial strain. Proverbs 15:22

For long term military money matters, it is good to consider the following:

1. Develop a game plan for the future because even if the government shutdown occurred, you have a personal financial management issue that you need to address. Matthew 25:14-30
2. Save up an emergency fund of at least three months of living expenses

Psalm 50:15

1. Pay down debt and remain debt-free. One good way to address this is to list all of your debts (small and large) and determine a game plan to pay them off. Romans 13:8
2. Review your current career and determine a five year plan. Do you need to add in more income? Do you need to cut back on certain costs? Can you do without it? These are the tough questions, and I will be the first to admit that my husband and I struggle with the wants and needs….it’s good character-building for your marriage. Proverbs 21:20
3. Keep God in the picture and pray with your spouse about how you can honor Him. I Corinthians 4:2

If you and your husband need a moral boost, it is wise to post Bible quotes or slogans to help you during this financially stressful era in our country’s history. Just Do It! Adjust your attitude from Can’t live without it to I can get along without it!

While there is no easy solution today, there is the One who without fail will be there and will provide the calm. He will deliver us from this financial challenge. He wants us to be blessed if only we will seek Him, live within our means and adjust our attitude through our finances. We must honor Him to all Glory and Honor, Amen!

Stephanie Arredondo is Board Treasurer for Wives of Faith, has years of experience and knowledge in the industry and writes a blog - Alfa Sugar – that lends financial perspective in modern America from one military spouse.

Disclaimer: This article is the opinion of the person writing it, and any financial decision made as a result does not make the writer or Wives of Faith liable for any action taken. Please consult your personal financial advisor for more information.

Nagging is NOT Profitable

Is nagging a marriage killer????

According to the Wall Street Journal's article on Nagging in Marriage is More Common than Adultery, I find it interesting how nagging is just as toxic for the relationship as is alcohol, adultery, drugs or (not even mentioned but should be) computer addiction.  Yet, nagging has been going on for many years.

Let's define nagging as the grounds where one person in the relationship seeks something from the other but the other person ignores that request thus prompting another request then ignore....the circle continues until something has to give.

Yet a marraige killer, I am not certain how farfetched this idea is.  Nagging certainly is no fun for either person.  It is a clear sign of a communication breakdown between two people.  The possible solutions to solving the problem will vary according to what's being ignored and what the request is all about.  For two people who love each other and have made a commitment, it is an ongoing challenge because over time, there is a certain level of comfort knowing that you don't have to do much because your spouse will still love you and be around. 

Liken this to couch potatoes who have developed large guts, it's time to change tactics.  Nagging is a problem to the marital relationship.  What I am saying is that even though you ask your spouse to take the trash out and they continue to say In a Minute while watching tv, you know that if you make the request again, it is STILL not going to happen and you've increased the perception of nagging.  Getting someone to do what you desire especially when you've become their warm, fuzzy comfortable bedroom slippers means a definite change in tactics.  Now this is not easy for those of us whose husbands go away on deployments for long periods of time. 

NAME THE PROBLEM is one way to start the process of addressing this negative behavior issue surfacing in your relationship.  By naming it, you redirect the focus from the other person in the relationship to the issue.  No one is being blamed. 

TALK THROUGH THE REQUEST is recommended.  Even though one person does not see why this request must be done immediately, it is wise to have empathy and find out why.  Perhaps your spouse had a horrible day at the office and doesn't want to burden you with it all and just needs a moment to regroup before engaging in home life.  Perhaps your stay at home spouse dealt with a screaming child all day and just needed to feel a little bit of love in the form of taking out the trash.  Perhaps you both endured hardship with a child neglecting their studies for other activities and just need to realize it's not your parenting style but a different problem at stake.  Whatever the situation, it is wise to step back, name the problem (not the sympton) and understand more of the big picture.

LISTEN MORE & TALK LESS is a wise approach when resolving conflict.  It's good to hear the other side talk.  So often, it's easy to talk and dominate the conversation to get our point across.  This isn't a win win approach.  Perhaps allowing yourself to listen to the words being presented will clarify what the matter is truly about.  You both may be upset about an unpaid bill (i.e. the sympton) but the real problem is about NOT doing a household chore or you hurt my feelings on the phone earlier today or lack of sexual interest. 

Marriage seasons like wine over time,  and as the years add up, there will be more and more issues to surface for the different seasons of life you both live.  Nagging is easy and quick to make known a hurt.  Yet it's not profitable to your marriage and over time, the negative effects of nagging do add up to a negative balance....ultimately you may divorce because of no resolution and irreconcilable differences. 

For military marriages, nagging can hinder growth in many ways.  For example, when your spouse returns from a combat zone, it's easy to nag him to do household chores and other things.  Even though it takes time to reintegrate from a deployment, many military have just experienced a life-changing experience that few can understand. To reintegrate back into society it takes time.  Nagging is more harmful because two people are overcoming separation and reuniting to start a new lifestyle.  It just adds to the pressure rather than lift both partners up.  If you add children to the equation, it adds another level of challenge.

The financial perspective here about nagging is to watch yourself and don't do it because the negative effects are more costly than what's been realized to date. Even if you do nag (which we are all guilty of at some point in time), it's good to revert back to being kind, saving face and taking the higher road.  More important, your request of the other person matters because you matter.  If possible, reassess your request and reask it rather than nag. It is amazing what is accomplished when you change yourself and your approach.

Written by Stephanie Arredondo
(c) 2012

MIL & Your Mighty Marriage

(Article NOT published on Wives of Faith web site page even though submission was made over 60 days ago so I am posting it here on my blog in hopes that it provides a nonmonetary financial perspective for wives and mother in laws (mil)).

MIL or mother in law jokes abound in ways we least expect.   The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you, Honey. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."  The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."   But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us."

"Have you not read,"  said Jesus, "that he who made them in the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh? So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Mark 10:9.

Jesus addressed the importance of marriage between a man and a woman.  There is a third party involved with each marriage, but it’s not our MIL or somebody else.  It’s Christ himself.  Military marriages benefit from a distance factor when forming their family unit.  PCSing to different bases around the world forces the husband and wife to depend on one another as well as Christ.  Though lonely at times, this opportunity directly supports scripture and helps couples to submit to one another. 

A third of many marriages dissolve because of interference by parents or other family members unconsciously.  This is a staggering statistic that puzzles many; however, over 80% of the in-law complaint letters that Ann Landers receives deal with mother in law problems, specifically the husband’s mother.  Call it a clash of cultures or power plays but the fact remains that it is a challenge for many marital relationships to form their family unit.

The in law relationship can be a great blessing or a toxic relationship depending upon the two women.  Obviously, both have in common one thing – they love the man who is son to one and husband to the other.  Two is company and three’s a crowd can definitely challenge things.  What’s remarkable is when both enjoy the in law relationship as did Ruth and Naomi.  While not all mother in law relationships evolve this way, according to Terri Aptner’s What Do You Want From Me? , the issue at hand for MILs is vulnerability and the threat that this mother/son relationship is changing. 

Change is inevitable, and seeing your son off on a deployment is difficult for MILs.  Marriage can provide a blessing or another threat to the MIL.  PTSD is on the rise with husbands returning from the combat zone, and many MILs and/or family members feel the need to step in and do something, especially when it is a young marriage.  This is when tempers flare, words are spoken and unintentional pain is inflicted upon many. 

When a baby is born, it can be tricky because MILs want certain family traditions passed on.  Sometimes, the new mom experiences doubt and confusion as she gets critiqued by her mother in law.  The MIL sees an inexperienced mother making many mistakes and feels she needs to step in for the sake of her grandchild.  The husband may be deployed or on TDY orders thus adding concern and stress because he is not present.  Around the holidays is when stress levels increase. 

Do you have a MIL situation?  Is your marriage challenged as a result of a MIL or another family member?  What to do?  How do you maintain some form of sanity? 

 First, it is important to be in prayer about your circumstances.  You and your marriage matter.  Communicate with your husband, mother in law and other family relationships that your marriage is between you and your husband (not anyone else) and that you and your spouse will make your family unit’s decisions, albeit finances, estate planning, parenting etc. 

Next, it’s important to set certain priorities to where your spouse is at the top of the list.  Badmouthing your mother in law is not on the list.  Focusing on your husband and what is needed for your marriage is THE priority in addition to prayer. 

Finally, having an exchange of mutual respect with your mother in law is recommended.  You want what is best for the same person as well as for the children. 

Forgiveness is important especially when feelings have been hurt, and while no situation starts off great, perhaps with time, you and your MIL will improve your relationship in such a way that it will blossom and benefit so many around you. Perhaps it’s hard to smile at a person who has deeply hurt you.   While no relationship is ideal and setting aside the MIL jokes, the important point is to have faith that God is with you and your spouse as you walk this wonderful journey of marriage.   

by Stephanie Arredondo

WILLs and survivors

It is wise for everyone to have some form of a Will in place regardless of the size of the estate.  For military, this document is usually done prior to deployments.  It is important to update all records every 2-3 years for active duty military just because a lot can happen and change within a short amount of time.  For most, it is wise to do a review of your estate upon the death of a loved one such as a spouse or child, the new addition to the family (such as a baby or adopted child), or a significant increase in holdings in the estate (i.e., those who have won the lottery which is usually 1-2% of the entire population). 

For those considering how to divide the estate, the best way is to EQUALLY divide the estate among your children.  That way all children are recognized.  Being equally divided sends an important message that the money/assets do not matter and that that child was fully recognized by their parent albeit past issues. 

Of course, for your estate planning needs, it is wise to hire an attorney to draft this legal paperwork should there be any concerns.  JAG can answer many of these questions for the military person.  It is wise to consider the source of your information and do your due diligence.  Relying on one person's advice for a major decision is a high risk proposition.  That is why asking and seeking the information from several sources is wise to make sure that you are able to have your last wishes communicated well.

While no one wants to deal with end of life issues, it is wise to complete the paperwork.  You will sleep better knowing that it is all done.  Your heirs will also relax knowing that they are in good shape.  It is money well spent especially when all can get a good night's rest.

2012 Military Pay Outlook & US Government Shutdown

According to Military.com 2012 Pay News - The president's 2012 budget request includes a proposal for a 1.6% military pay raise for 2012. While slightly larger than last year's military pay increase, the 2012 proposed military pay increase would be the second smallest in 50 years.

Concerning all the political and current news being reported, I am leery of what's to come next.  Our current economic climate is seeing some positive signs such as manufacturing has picked up according to the Institute for Supply Management.  Leading economic indicators look good as a recovery appears stronger and stronger since the 2009 dip.  Housing has yet to see any improvement as personal income is down.  While personal consumption is up according to the US Dept of Commerce, I suspect that it is the usual Amerian tendency to spend with a credit card or other debt.  For those military members interested in managing their financial affairs better,  I would determine a household budget based on current pay and then computer another budget based on the 2012 military pay proposed above.  While military personnel and their families should NOT endure the stress of  getting paid, it is important to get out your calculator, pen & paper, and/or computer to determine your spending plan.  Military wives especially need to lower their spending habits because it is amazing the unlimited choices relative to your limited financial resources.

In the article Why Put Military Pay At Risk?, it lends perspective on general sentiment.  That this political talk is WRONG. 

Accordig to Rick Maze of the Air Force Times, Rep. Hunter is trying to get Congress to pass HR 1551 where military pay would be guaranteed.   To date, there are 39 co-sponsors of the bill.  The challenge is the debt ceiling and what the US Government intends to do regarding this $14.3 trillion debt issue.  There is a financial risk involved with guaranteeing such a large amount of money for any business situation let alone government.  However, the military is a different matter when it comes to government and certain financial obligations.  There are other budget cuts that should occur before reducing military pay (the above small increase in military pay 2012 is a political statement that is an insult to hardworking and underpaid military personnel and their families) such as fourth generation welfare recipients who have a refridgerator, cable tv, a wii or playstation, and these electronic food stamp cards where purchases include beer, wedding cakes, steaks and other.   I personally do not have cable tv nor a wii or playstation.

As of this blog publication, there is no guarantee that military pay will occur should the government shutdown occur.  I am sorry to type this because it is just wrong.  Historically, this has been a challenge for past armies and military troops throughout the ages (the Romans and others).  It is critical to pay your military because if you look at history, it is a telling tale.

Wedding Season: Is the Happy Couple Financially Ready?

It's wedding season.  Is the happy couple financially ready?

Most couples when they tie the knot haven't reviewed some important financial items when they marry.  Granted in today's American culture, more than 70% of couples marrying have been living together.  I could not believe this statistic when I read it in the Wall Street Journal's article The Gifts on Every Wedding List by Sue Shellenbarger.  What amazes me is how much time, effort and attention to detail each couple getting married spends on the wedding registry as well as wedding planning and yet they tend to overlook certain matters such as finances and debt.  Setting up house is just as important as setting your financial affairs in order.  With today's couple marrying in their late 20s, each has had an opportunity to accumulate some items as well as some debt or savings. 

First, it is important that you both review your last tax return statement, your investments and financial statements, your debt (credit card, student loans, auto loan, etc...), your assets and your income(s).

Second, once you've determined your combined net worth statement, it is important to review your financial goals for before, during and just after you marry.  Are you planning to buy a house and have two condos to sell?  Do you have $120,000 in student loan debt?  Are you working your way through college?  Are you paying for your wedding?  Where you both are and where you plan to be after you marry is important to review, determine a financial game-plan and then forecast how you aim to achieve this financially.

Third, it is important to decide as a couple how you both plan to go forward from your wedding day.  Will you both relocate to a new city and be a first-time homeowner?  Will you merge your salaries and pay off those student loans?  Is one of you returning to school while the other works to support you both? 

Fourth, upon review of your goals, dreams and/or plan, then it is wise to develop a spending plan.  How much money will you have coming in?  How much money will you have to spend on your relocation?  How much will you need to purchase that house?

Finally, once you've reviewed this initial game plan, then it is wise to seek accountability with a financial advisor, a parent or trusted person, and/or your premarital counselor.  Gaining wisdom from those who have been married a long time will enhance your decision-making for the early days of your marriage. 

I recently read the book The Family CFO: The Couple's Business Plan for Love and Money by Mary Claire Allvine and Christine Larson.  It's a neat book that I wish my husband and I had when we were merging our households together.  Now I am not going to do a book review here, but merely offer it as a good resource to read and check out.  I've read also Dave Ramsey's book Financial Peace and really appreciated the approach to marriage from both couple's perspectives.  Regardless of how you start your marriage, it is important to get some good premarital counseling and discuss your fianances. 

BTW, if you do not get good quality premarital counseling, then I highly recommend that you seek another way to get superior premarital counseling....Our minister just saw with us for three sessions and it was too vague, broad and general for what modern couples need.  We should have pursued another premarital setup that went into great detail.  Marriage is never easy and having this kind of opportunity to work on premarital issues will really make you and your soon to be spouse at ease during your wedding years.  For those in the military, it's easy to marry and walk into marriage so please contact Military OneSource as well as the base chaplain for more ways to better prepare for marriage. 

From a faith-based perspective, I strongly advise couples marrying today to study what the Bible says about marriage, understand your role as husband/wife, and seek ways to work on your marriage.  It is important to pray for one another.  It is important to spend time together as as couple.  It is important to communicate well.  It is important to manage your finances well together.  In reading the Biblical Marriage, it reminds all readers that the most important relationship in your life is your spouse.  It can provide the most joy and happiness and yet it can provide the most pain, heartache and lasting scars of any relationship.  More people are delaying marriage until their late twenties.  There is nothing wrong with marriage at a young age as long as the people in love go into it for the right reasons. 

Marriage is a wonderful institution where a man and a woman commit themselves to each other, and their wedding day is when that commitment is made public.  While everyone loves to see a beautiful wedding, the wedding dress, the flowers, the reception, and all the other fun and exciting things that go with each wedding, it is a distraction from what's important.  A man and woman are getting married.  Focusing on this union is what's important.  I wish each Couple-To-Be great happiness.

This is Part One on this article and I will write Part Two and post later.